Could I Remain In a Loveless Relationship

There are many different types of love.  We love ourselves, we love our parents, we love our children, our friends and our significant others. We love our pets, our things etc. We can love all these people and things in different ways. But is love really necessary in a romantic relationship? Can such a relationship even exist without love? These questions have been plaguing me recently as a friend of mine described to me  a situation she experienced in a past relationship.



According to my friend, after being in an exclusive relationship for a year, she asked her significant other why he never said he loved her, even in response to her saying it first. My friend was expecting the reply which is common among many people. “I do love you, I’m just not one to say it often.”  Instead the answer she got threw her for a loop. He said he doesn’t know if he loves her, he doesn’t even know what love is.  After much probing, it was revealed, based on statements he made, that he was hurt by people he felt love for in the past. He now preferred to have a relationship with everything but love. This was too much for my friend, and the relationship ended.

Since hearing this story, I have been asking myself what I would do in this situation. Would I be able to endure a relationship without love? The simple answer for me is no. As an emotional being, love is extremely important to me.

Love alone cannot make a relationship work, nor should it be used as an excuse to remain in an unhappy or unsafe situation. However, it can be argued that it is very important to modern human relationships. I personally cannot imagine being on this journey of life without experiencing love. Love in all its forms is a wonderful emotion. When combined with effective communication, trust, and mutual respect, it is one of the foundations of a relationship.

My friend’s ex was confused as to why love was so important to her.  From his perspective, everything was great because they communicated well, they met each others’ friends and family, and they enjoyed their time together. For him if they continued the way they were going, he could see them working well and having a future together. In his mind, love just was not that important. This sounds like a business arrangement rather than a  relationship to me.

When you have a reciprocal love with another human being, there is a special connection with that person, that is unlike anything else. It is a great motivator to do better for yourself and for the person you love. In fact, sex is generally better when you love someone.

Even the argument that historical marriages were business arrangements can be undercut by the fact that these people had affairs with others they loved. This proves that love is important to the human experience.

In conclusion, I will say, I would have done the exact same thing as my friend, if he refused to work on his emotional issues and on improving the relationship. Love is just too important to me.

What would you do in my friend’s situation? Is love important to you? Could you remain in a loveless relationship? Comment below and let me know.